3 Two weddings and a funeral
Published in the Forverts on September 21st, 1946
As far as tate was concerned, he thought that while preparing for the wedding, people would not think about how he was a crippled invalid. Because of this, he got out of bed several times during the day and, walking around the house with a cane, he bathed and looked at everything that was bought for Bas-Sheyva. Excited for the occasion, he also thought that aside from inviting the in-laws, we shouldn’t forget any of the poor relatives who lived in the nearby towns around and around. Every time he remembered something, someone else hugged him, and he said, “For God’s sake, we should not forget it.” He also announced that it should be seen that there should be as many poor guests as possible for the chupe meal.
– Just don’t steal any money, Feige.” - he said to mame, who then, even more than he, put on a dark face, so that you wouldn’t see the heavy thoughts she carried because of his illness. - Just don’t begrudge any money!… It costs so much, it will cost even more. God is our father and he will not forsake us…
And mame did what tate told her. And as soon as it became clear to her that he was dragging himself around the house too much, she beseeched him:
– Follow me, Leyb Sender, and lie down. You are already tired and you need to rest. And believe me - she continued leading him to the secluded alcove where he was lying - believe me that our daughter’s wedding, God willing, will turn out fine, and it will be good…
And so it was.
At the wedding, which took place two weeks before Pesach, in the small village of Zatishiye, which is located between Vasilkov and Belaya Tserkov, so many celebrants came that even at a fair you never saw so many people. There was not a single Jewish landowner in all the surrounding shtetls and towns at that time who did not come to the wedding. Among all these guests, Jews with large orchards and with a lot of strength and courage, there were chasidim of the Makarover Rebbe. Tate did not invite any other chasidim1. He would certainly not have them at the doorstep of his house. And the Jewish landowners did not come alone, but with their wives and children, and they drove to the village in horse-drawn carriages. Just as they felt at home among the Jews, so they felt at home among the goyim, and they spoke the goyishe language Ukrainian just as freely and easily as they spoke Yiddish.
For each landowner who came to the wedding, and also for the other celebrants who came from the shtetls, they made way for Abba the Klezmer musician with his band of musicians, who were brought down from Belaya Tserkov. He, the Abba the Klezmer musician, was a smart, driven Jew, who even then, even in those times, wore a pressed shirt, a top and a short cap that falls to the waist. He wasn’t born yesterday, and he knew how to play music for a high-ranking courtier, for whom a “kerbel is a mumzer”2.
And the greatest wears brought for my sister Bas-Sheyva’s wedding were from the rich landowner Eliezer Shmuel, who had a reputation for being a very wealthy man with a generous hand. In front of him, Abba played something like “Vivetsh” and something like “Dobrivetsh” with the band, over which Eliezer Shmuel himself was truly beside himself with joy and he said that he had never heard anything like that before…
The simche was great. The whole village of Zatishiye went mad with the wedding we held. Our goyishe neighbors, simple farmers and peasants, felt like family and they also came to the wedding and gave gifts and they danced and they congratulated the groom and the bride. May they be blessed and never know any evil…At that time, Jews and goyim still lived in peace among themselves in the villages…The goyim only began to show hatred towards the Jews only later3, when they were urged, when they were persuaded Jews were to blame for all the troubles that befell them…
But no matter how great the simche was when Jews and goyim were together at my sister’s wedding in the shtetl, the joy was still a little bit overshadowed, because the whole time tate was so ill and he felt so weak that, cane in hand, while sitting from the table watching everyone dance and rejoice, his head soon turned and his face became pale and he was led away back home to lie down in bed to rest. Mame usually was the one to take him home. She was always the first to notice how pale his face became when he sat down among the celebrants at the table. And he didn’t resist when she led him back to rest. Leaning on his cane, he walked with a strange smile on his pale face. He no longer had even a trace of the determination, of the possessor’s firmness that he used to show before he got sick. And walking like this with mame, he comforted and reassured her:
– It’s not over, Feige, it’s not over… It will soon pass when I will come out to celebrate again… It’s not over! Let us rejoice! Let us dance! Let us be happy!
As far as he could, he gathered all his strength, and with mame he led his daughter to the chupe - the first daughter of his, whom he had married off before she was even born…
The new kapote which he wore hung loosely on him, because he was already so emaciated and weak. But his face still shone. You could see that he felt happy that he led his first child to the chupe. And when she arrived to the chupe we danced. When I saw how he kvelled, how he danced in the kapote, how he was clapping his hands, I suddenly had such a strong desire to make him happy that I didn’t know what to do. And then I ran up to him, grabbed both his hands and started kissing them; Tears fell from my eyes. Tears of joy, and soon I got so excited and started dancing that it was impossible to stop myself… And father was full of naches4.
– Dance, Shmuel’ik!
He encouraged me and when I ran up to him again in joy and kissed his hands again,
– Dance Shmuel’ik! At a wedding one should dance… at a wedding one should be happy…
And four weeks after the wedding he died.
After tate’s death, mame got involved in the heavy burden of making a living. She started to lead the farm by herself, and people started calling her “Feige the Possessorka.” But soon she began to realize that tate was not at all as capable as he thought and that he had spent much more and lived much larger than he could afford… For two years, mame struggled with the farm, and it was difficult for her to get out. Tate’s fields, his broad orchards, the land they owned in the village could not go as it went before. It was no longer possible to afford what we could when tate was still alive. It was already something completely different from what it was…
Even a permanent melamed for the children could not be kept. And at the time that this did not bother me, because to date I have never shown any great desire, and now it often bothers me very much…
But life went on there, and during the times when mame was tormented by the poverty-inducing property, she married off my older brother, Itzhik Gedolia5, who was nicknamed Kotik6 in the family - he was quiet like a little kitten who plays only in a corner. Itzhik Gedolia was married to the daughter7 of a certain Shmuel Pekelis8, a Jewish merchant, who lived in Belaya Tserkov and conducted business with other cities as well.
And at that wedding of my brother Kotik, I saw and heard for the first time the badchen Berele Shachnes, who at that time had a reputation in many Jewish cities and towns of Kyiv Governorate and also in the Podolier province. He really became an artist in his profession, Berele Shachnes, and he behaved as if he wanted to make a whole dynasty out of it.
People already knew that he doesn’t perform at weddings by himself, but was accompanied by his son-in-law who helped with the performance to earn room and board. The badchen was Berele Shachnes alone, and he performed in such a way that the women would shed tears. And after The Kale Besetzens9, he performed a scene that his son-in-law helped with. And I still remember the scene that he, Berele Shachnes, played with his son-in-law at my older brother’s wedding after the The Kale Besetzens, which made all the women weep.
Berele himself then stood with his pointed beard and struck such a pose, as if to say you could rely on him and be sure that soon you will see something that is worth all the money. And as he was standing like that, his son-in-law showed up disguised as a beggar, and soon he started singing a very sad nign10:
I walk around in the street
One by one,
I ask people for money/alms,
But they don’t want to look at me.
He sang it one time, and then a second time. And immediately afterwards, he begged - “Give me alms!”
And then Berele Shachnes the badchen released such an anger on the poor beggar, and they began a dialogue:
– Berele: Hey, you pauper, why did you come here just to make the wedding guests sad? This is a wedding where everyone should be happy!
– Beggar: But how can I be happy, when I am a poor Jew begging for money?
– Berele: You must be happy!
– Beggar: I must?
– Berele: Yes, you must!
– Beggar: Nu, if I must, you have to show me how. Come on, let’s see how a poor Jew like me could be happy!
– Berele: I will show you! Indeed, I will show you!
This is how the dialogue went between the badchen and his son-in-law who was pretending to be a beggar. And when they were done with their “lines,” both sang to each other:
Make merry, pauper,
enjoy yourself, poor man;
He who has nothing,
really has it all.
We really liked watching them. I really enjoyed it in particular, and I can say that this was the first time in my life that I had ever seen theater. Yiddish theater. And to this day, I still think about Berele Shachnes’ performance, as the first Yiddish actor I ever saw in my life…
as in, no other kinds of chasidim - only Makarover chasidim↩︎
idiom: “a ruble is a trifle”; as in, money is no object↩︎
At this time in Pale of Settlement history, things were overall good for the Jews↩︎
joy/pride↩︎
later, he became Isaac Casten in America↩︎
kitten↩︎
her name was Chuna, later changed to Anna in America↩︎
It is worth noting that Sam may be misremembering his name. According to Anna’s gravestone, her father’s name was Isaiah-Leyb, not Shmuel.↩︎
“Serenading of the bride,” a popular Jewish wedding song. Listen here.↩︎
singular nigunim↩︎